Dream Journal – The Night I Learned Who I Am In REM

September 07, 2016

Last night, I dreamt a vivid dream that stuck with me all day long. I can’t remember where it started, but let’s begin with the fact that I somehow came to know of a dangerous plan.

For some reason, I also found out who was involved in this dangerous plan. I knew that some people were evil, dangerous people, but at least one person was innocent; she was the victim of a blackmail of sorts. Should she choose not to aid in the success of this Plan, her loved ones would pay the price.

As dreams go, I accomplished the unlikely feat of befriending this Girl. She confided in me a plan to go after the main man in charge of executing The Plan. She was going to go alone and kill him, but wanted me to make sure her family was safe. I managed to convince her that her family would be ok, but I should go with, in case she failed her mission. I could watch from afar and if misfortune were to find her,  I would step in. At least, this is what I told The Girl I would do.

In actuality, I had devised a plan of my own. While I knew little of The Plan, I knew that The Girl’s plan was dangerous and unlikely to succeed. We needed help beyond the two of us. The only thing I could think of was that we should go to the police. Knowing she would never agree, I took my plan into my own hands. The Girl and I must have been venturing out from a town near my childhood home, for my first step was a phone call to my parents. This Girl and I had devised such a calculated attack, that we knew exactly where we would be in our route down to the very minute. I filled my parents in on The Plan and told them that they needed to call the police and urge them to intercept a car matching our description at my specified time and location. Again, as this was a dream, they magically offered no objections.

The Girl and I set out on our mission and kept things running smoothly at the start. Knowing what I had done, I couldn’t stop fidgeting in my seat. I glanced out the window frequently, expecting to see police lights at any moment. I couldn’t help but think, what if my parents had forgotten to call? What if they had called but the police didn’t believe them? As I was mulling over every possible scenario, I was jerked back to the present when my seatbelt yanked sharply on my collarbone as The Girl slammed on the breaks. Two cop cars had appeared from nowhere and were blocking our road ahead, while one squad car wailed its sirens, blocking us from behind. My heart jumped because I knew The Girl would be safe in police custody, but I couldn’t bear to look at her, knowing I had betrayed her trust.

Police lights illuminated the dark night, reflecting off of the city’s windows around us. We were both handcuffed and led to the back seats of different squad cars. When we got to the police station, it was very late and there were few officers in the building. For some reason, The Girl and I were seated in the same room as we waited to consult with a lawyer. Our public defender appeared after what seemed like an eternity of silence between The Girl and me. The man was tall, with short brown hair and a remarkably blunt nose. I remember thinking that he looked nervous, maybe even on edge. As we stood to greet him, I noticed him moving his right hand to his hip. Now, whether in a dream, a movie, a book, or what have you, what do we always know is happening when someone reaches for their hip? They’re grabbing a gun every damn time.

I immediately sensed the danger that permeated from this man and time stood still. His glassy eyes were dead set on The Girl and he was paying no attention to me. I looked at both of them, knowing that I had a decision to make. Do I risk my life to save this girl that I hardly knew, or do I stand aside and take my chances that it’s her he wants and I’ll be fine? I considered my situation and the probability that I would make it out alive. I thought about who would take care of my dog if I died tonight and if my current 401k would be enough to cover the cost of my funeral. Before I had even consciously come to a decision, I felt my body moving in front of The Girl and found myself face to face with the barrel of a very small pistol.

Here’s where things get blurry. I don’t remember how, but I was able to talk the man down from shooting The Girl. I woke up as he was lowering his arm, and somehow I knew in that second that the police had also intercepted Mr. Head Honcho and The Plan had fallen too.

The reason this dream stayed with me today is because I did things that I did not know I could. Number one, I betrayed my friend for her own safety. If you know me at all, you know that I am accommodating to a fault. If you ask me to do something, I will do everything I can to make that happen. The shocking thing here is that I was able to make a decision for someone’s best interest with their family on the line, and the potential for a different outcome (the success of The Girl’s plan). I made the right call.

Number two, I stood in front of a gun attached to a very desperate man to protect someone I hardly knew. Of course one never knows what he would really do unless he is in that situation, but think about how you perceive reality in your dreams. The reason I struggled so badly with nightmares as a child was because I ALWAYS felt that they were so real. My dreams are my temporary reality. Following that logic, though I was dreaming, I truly was faced with this decision, and I made the move that I would never have dreamed I could.

Last night in my REM sleep, I was a good friend, and I was brave. 


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